Column: The Spiritual Realist
Ask Ray !
Q & A section of “The Spiritual Realist” column
by Raymond Siew
I believe my thinking triggers my emotions (thinking that I may not be aware of or clear about) - and so awareness in the present moment of my feelings/emotions helps me back to center, to think about my thinking and about adjustments I may need to make. [Excerpt]
Judith Litke, Canada
"The flesh is weak" - maybe - but also the body never lies (unlike our minds) as I am slowly learning through my practice of yoga! [Excerpt]
Sarah Rozenthuler, UK www.increaseyourpeace.co.uk
There's imagined fears, yes, but how do you differentiate them from instinctive fears? Thats how I label them anyway... some fears are based on instinct, intuition, like you have this small voice which tells you this is wrong, don't go for it. Or do you also put that under imagined fears? [Excerpt]
Jing Wen, Malaysia
Dear Judy, Sarah & Jing Wen
I believe your questions are connected, so I hope you won't mind if I try to answer as comprehensively as possible here.
When we talk about thinking, I make a distinction — One is "mental constructs" which is fear-based thinking (and comes from the flesh) and the other is "thinking from the spirit". I also make a distinction between emotions and feelings (of the spirit). To me, emotions take us away from our center and as such are illusional.
Let me explain...
Let's take happiness, for instance. If we pursue happiness, that means we are running away from something — If we need to be happy, then are we also fearful of being sad. So, if we define happiness as "fear of sadness", we are already off our center. We will not take risks that may affect our "happiness". And that will limit our ability to experience and our chance to learn (and really, it is impossible to achieve). You see, if we want happiness, the universe will bring us sadness - for only by overcoming sadness can we experience happiness.
We need all our emotions. They are there for a purpose. They are there to help us define ourselves. For without them, we cannot know situations or people. And here lies the paradox. For emotions create the tapestry for the drama of life. And yet, they remain an illusion, for they only explain the drama. To know your true self, you need to connect to the spirit.
That is why I say, EXPERIENCE as much as we can. Try out as much as we can... and then learn from that experience. For you see, even our ego and mental constructs are there for a reason. They help us contain things we are not yet ready to handle. All I'm saying is, be careful that the reason does not become an excuse not to move on.
Now if we look deep down inside us, what I think we may really be looking for is a sense of satisfaction from accomplishments, a sense of joy from deep friendships and community. And we can't have that until we see the illusions of emotions, and learn to move from the spirit. For if we don't, we will be looking for answers at the wrong places.
Feelings borne of the spirit have a certain quality, it does not decenter. Look for it in yourself, and learn to think (and make decisions) from that space. And you will slowly learn to differentiate between emotions and feelings - and see which ones take you to the place you want to go. It is a process. I can't see any shortcuts.
Jing Wen... I make a distinction between "instinct" and "intuition". In the practice of aikido, for instance, much of the practice is counter-instinctive ie. away from the "fight or flight" response. And that training is tough because it is really to connect to the spirit... and the spirit does not give up its fruits easily. So, another way to look at the training is that it is "intuitive" training, for intuition is really when we see things in the spirit (even if it's for a short time) and things suddenly become very clear - without the clutter of the drama, our fear-based emotions, or mental constructs. And we find things are really simple. And in that way, aikido practitioners have acquired astounding skills.
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Sarah... the body can lie. The body can respond to imagined fears.
Judy... some may say it's a "chicken or egg" story, but in this case, I believe that the body is the cause of the fear. For without our body, there is no reason to fear.
Meditation can be a tool towards connecting to the spirit. From that place, you can see your emotions running riot. You can still yourself and begin to see things as they really are. I will write more on this further along.
I hope I have been helpful.
About Ray:
Raymond Siew is the CEO and business development strategist for eMasters as well as her two online publications: It's My Life! (lifestyle ezine) and in-the-loop (business ezine). eMasters' core business is Design, Advertising & Promotions — Visit www.eMasters.info to view eMasters' suite of products & services, or to read Raymond's bio.
About It's My Life! content: All content on It's My Life! belongs exclusively to eMasters and may not be reproduced or reprinted in any manner without permission from eMasters. If you wish to use any of our content, please contact us.
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